Friday, 15 November 2013

People's Opinions DO NOT Matter

I've always been a worrier. Ever since I was quite young, I've always worried what people think of me and I've always lacked confidence. I'm not someone to try and stand out; I much prefer to disappear into the crowd. Why? I haven't a clue. I guarantee the first time you meet me, I will be completely silent and awkward. Not awkward in a 'cute' way either, awkward in a painful way. I've changed myself in the past to fit in - this resulted in me being extremely unhappy because I couldn't be myself. I don't get bullied, I'm not particularly disliked by anyone, but I do always have a constant worry in the back of my mind: What if people don't like the way I am?

At my school today, we had a non uniform day for Children in Need. I decided to wear disco pants from New Look and an alphabet t-shirt from American Apparel. I've never worn disco pants before; I much prefer to stick to normal skinny jeans, like most girls wear. No word of a lie, I stood in front of my bedroom mirror for a good ten minutes before it was time to leave, contemplating whether I should change into jeans and a jumper or stick to the clothes I had on. So many thoughts ran through my head, like what if people say things? What if I get laughed at? I know disco pants aren't everyone's favourite choice of clothing and isn't to everyone's taste. However, I kept them on and went to school. I actually have anxiety and worrying is somewhat 'normal' to me now but I worried even more all day today, constantly thinking people were going to be saying I looked disgusting. I walked past a girl in the year above me, she looked at me and said to her friend, "What the fuck is she wearing?" This knocked my confidence and self-esteem a lot. I didn't make it obvious it hurt me, I didn't even show that I'd heard her. I felt so self-conscious all day. It's an awful feeling, it really is. It's why I make sure I try and be polite and nice to everyone because I know exactly what it's like to feel like crap all the time so I'd never want anyone to feel and experience the emotions I felt for a long time.

I've thought about what that girl said a lot and I've also thought how long I've been this way for. It's not good to question yourself and not do things because other people might not approve. It makes you feel a lot worse than if you did that thing and came away thinking, "People may have a problem with what I did but I'm happy and that is all that matters."
In a few years time, will you still be in touch with these people and/or see them every day?
Do their opinions really matter?
I've decided that I'd rather be happy than worry about what other people think about me. It's easier said than done, I know. There's no use moulding yourself around everyone else's wishes and wants. They do not matter. The only person that matters is you. There's going to be points in life where you will need to stand out, may it be in order to get a job you want. You have to prove you are different and this is what motivates me to stand out more. Wanting to be a make-up artist means I have to show my skills and passions in a way that's different.

Do things for you.
Have you seen a certain hairstyle you want to try out but not sure if it will go right or look good? Try it!
Have you got a certain clothing item in your wardrobe you're tempted to wear but worry about what people will think or say? Wear it!
If you do something and it makes you happy, don't hesitate. Being different is an amazing thing that separates you from the crowd, which is a good thing. Who wants to be the same as the next person? I'm not saying you can become confident over night. I've tried to improve my confidence and become a louder person for years. You have to be in the right state of mind. There are more pros to being confident than cons.

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition."

"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation."

"You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant."
My personal favourite because it reminds people that they shouldn't throw their opinions about if they aren't thought through. If someone looks different, don't speak mean words - you don't know why they look different. If someone is happy, leave them be.

If you, reading this, have the same confidence issues I do, please remember it's completely normal but you shouldn't base yourself around other people. Be you. When a person is completely themselves, it proves how strong they are. Don't let anyone effect the way you are, think or the way you do things.


  1. Amazing post! I have anxiety too and have one non-uniform day at college and always panic about what to wear. I'm glad you decided to stick to it and wear your disco pants - after all, you are the one wearing them so wear what you like! I bet you looked lovely in them anyway :) xx

    1. Thank you so much! This made my day. :)
      Hope you are okay. xx

  2. I'm glad you are doing things for yourself and I bet you looked fabulous in those disco pants! I admire you for rocking them. This post is so right, don't let what others think dictate you :)

    I was afraid to cut my bangs for the longest time, and in the end I ended up loving them and wondering why I took so long to be brave!

    1. Thank you so much! I'm glad you cut your hair, I bet it looks amazing! :)

  3. This was a wonderful, inspiartional post! I feel exactly the same way as you! I completely idol people who don't even think about the question "But what will they think?" We will all grow out of it eventually, but I'm glad you are! I followed you and maybe you could in return? ;) xox